How am I feeling?
Wednesday, October 1, 2008 @ at
Dun have to work today as it is a Public Holiday. Dearie came and had dinner at my place last night. He also stayed over. Both of us were fixing the BB Gundam till abt 11pm then we went to wash up. Once you want to start painting the models in details, it could be rather tiring. Paying attention to the details, slowly drawing the lines and ensuring that it was painted nicely and properly. Didn't even manage to complete 1 model last night. Wanted to continue today but wasn't in the mood to do it.
Dearie stayed over last night and we woke up at 11.30am. It was raining last night and it was very nice to sleep through the night. My eyes could hardly open this morning. So so so tired... Yawn...
Sent mum to work and then came home to prepare to send Dearie home. Stayed at Dearie's place for dinner and managed to do a little bit of my work. Was rather sianz and bored. Dunno why I have this feeling suddenly. I feel that my life lacks excitement? Dearie was commenting that I am very quiet and was asking me anything wrong a not. Was it abt work or wat? I just kept mum. Nothing abt work... I also dunno how to explain or say. Almost want to tear but they were withheld... nothing flow out.
Seems like there is nothing for me to look forward to now. Everyday is just work, eat, sleep. I drove fast on the roads when I was heading home. Whenever I am alone driving in the car, there seems to be another hidden side of me. Drove like my bro... fast on the road, beating other cars, with super loud, fast music playing, feeling the car's bass going "Bom Bom Bom". Only difference is that I do it within the stipulated speed limit of course. No one will think that I will drive like that. Last time I would hang out with my friends, going for supper and late night movies, chit chatting over coffee session. Now as we get older and busier with our lives, I no longer have this kind of session with friends. Dearie never stop me from going out with friends. Sometimes I just wish he can do this kind of activities with me too. But... he is too used to being sleeping early and will not be able to last past 12am. Haiz...
Why I suddenly feel so sianz... is it because of certain things? Dunno... contradicting... dunno how I should feel. Lost, Sianz, Speechless.
